The epic chronicles of Alfred and Matthew
by Tobifan4444
Summary: Alfred F Jones just moved in to a new town. And he meets someone that looks like him. why? Now both of them are on a quest to find their mom. Along with other crazy adventures. use of Human names.
1. Moving day

**Oh hello again! :D I'm a terrible person not uploading anything for weeks on end. I'm sorry. I'm still a bit busy. And I have my drivers' midterm this Wednesday. Hmm :/ anyways, Without further ado, my story! I do not own Hetalia! :D enjoy! Also I do not own 'Get over it' by Ok Go.**

"Oh it's such a drag, what a chore... oh your wounds are full of salt. Everything's a stress and what's more, well it's all somebody's fault."

_These past few years have been though. Friends, Family, and Money issues. We make friends, and enemies, along this harsh road called life. Families must pull through the tough times. Heh. I fight with my dad, a lot, and still one step behind finding my real mom, as usual. Money is a problem too, but as long as we have people to help us we'll be ok. There's a rocky trail ahead of us, my friends, but we must keep on trucking, no matter how hard it seems. Even if we get a flat. Pull out the spare tire and put it on because once you start this journey, there is no stopping till you reach the end. But that's no time soon, I hope, though it may feel like it._

"Had it up to the gills... makes you cry while the milk still spills. Ain't it just a bitch? What a pain...Well it's all a crying shame"

A young boy, of the awesome age six-teen, with dirty-golden blond hair, like a wheat field and as soft as silk, and eyes as blue, and free, as the summer day sky. This boy's name is Alfred, Alfred F Jones. Yes, he was a handsome lad, sexy and foxy. The chicks were all over him like rednecks on a monster truck. Yes, he was the greatest thing since sliced white bread. Oh yea, would you fu-"Alfred! Stop talking to the mirror and come help me unpack!"

"erm, yes! Sorry dad!" I said heading out of the bathroom and out to the moving truck. _Man, I can't believe he shouted that out loud. Now the whole neighborhood knows, urrgh, grumpy old man._

I poked my head into the truck, smiling. "You called~?"

"Yes, now get your bloody arse over here and help me pick up the couch" Growled a thick British accented man.

I sighed and climbed into the moving truck. I grabbed the edge of the couch and lifted it up. We carried it all the way into the living room and placed it down gently on the wooden, pine, floor. My father walked over to me, messy blond hair, kinda like mine but not really, and deep green eyes, green like the clover patched in Ireland. (We visited there to see my uncle/his brother every-so-often. Uncle John. Uncle john doesn't really like dad. But he loves me. Haha) He patted me on the back smiling.

"Alright, Alfred, that's enough today. We'll move the rest tomorrow." He gave my back a little rub then sat nicely on the couch.

My dad was an 'o.k.' guy. Not #1 dad in the world, but it could be worse. He is strict and over protective most the time, but when he's not he's easy to get along with. He also had…has a bit of a drinking problem, once he starts he can't stop, and he's a mean/sentimental drunk. A bit violent too. We argue a lot too, but despite that. I still love him, and he loves me…god knows why.

"so, what's for dinner?" I asked a bit gravely. He wasn't the best cook around…ok…he sucks completely, but somehow I manage to live every time after a meal, without getting a stomach pump.

"ehh…well we haven't moved all of the cooking supplies in yet…so…how about Burger King? You like that place, right?" He asked wearily.

My eyes lit up after he said 'burger'. "Yea! I love it! Woot!" I cheered smiling, he chuckled and got up. "ok then, go wait in the car, I'll be there in a moment"

I ran out to the car in less than a second.

"Aren't you such a catch? What a prize! Got a body like a battle axe... Love that perfect frown, honest eyes...We ought to buy you a Cadillac."

When we got back he blew-up the old air mattress. I watched him blow it up for a while before helping him.

"Awesome. So where am I sleeping?" I asked whipping my mouth.

"On the mattress."

"…so, where are you sleeping then?"

"On the mattress."

I paused. "Whoa! Can't I sleep on the couch or even the floor?"

"That couch is for sitting, not sleeping, and sleeping on the ground is bad for your back. Why all the fuss?" He picked a blanket out of the moving boxes while he spoke.

"Because. It's not cool for two dudes to share a bed" I whined.

"I'm not a 'dude'. I'm a gentle man, and your father. It's only for tonight. Now get ready for bed."

I sighed and marched off to the bathroom.

"ahh~ Hello handsome devil. How are you this fine night?" I said into the mirror, smiling.

"Alfred. I told you to get ready for bed. Not make kissy faces in the mirror"

"I can't do nuthin'!" I whined squeezing toothpaste on my tooth brush.

"Get, get, get, get, get over it!"

I finished quickly and headed back to the living room, where the mattress was blown up and laid in the middle of the room, and I paused for a minute.

"dad?"

"I'll be there in a minute. Just lay down."

I huffed and rolled my eyes before lying on the air filled mattress.

_Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Maybe I'll say 'hi' to some of the neighbors, and check to see if there are any hot chicks that live here. Heh heh heh. _

**AN: ah. Wasn't that good? I hope it was. (´****ｰ｀*****) anyways, there will be a new chapter soon! I already have it planned! I just need to type it and stuff. I know I don't have the best title ****(´□****) so please if you have an idea for a title I will listen, as long as Alfred and Matthew's name is in it. Since this is based around the two, mostly Alfred though. Please review! I will give you bacon! :D **


	2. Neighbors

**New chapter :D as I promised! See I didn't abandon you guys after all. Aren't you so happy? xD  
alright. I do not own Hetalia. Still not Matthew though. But fear not, He'll come in soon enough.**

_I have an idea involving Chuck Norris riding a moose on the wide open fields of Uranus_

I put the last cardboard box down in my room. It took all morning and afternoon to get all of them in here.

"Yeesh. Hot in here" I said whipping some sweat off my forehead. I walked over to the window in my room and opened it up. Then I started to un-pack some items onto my desk, near the window.

"Been working hard all day, are you not being tired?" A child like, thickly accented Russian voice asked.

I looked up confused, and then I saw a freakin' giant Russian dude standing outside my window, standing right there, smiling creepily. The kind of creepy smile that says 'I like to eat babies with mayonnaise while I kill puppies'. I fell back a bit. "whoa! Who are you? And why are you looking through my window like a creeper?" I asked pointing at him like he was pedobear at a little girls' slumber party. I doubt it though; he'd probably eat little girls rather than rape them.

"I am being your neighbor. I am merely wanting to say hello" He said calmly, still smiling.

"Alfred, who are you talking to?"

"the creepy guy standing by my window" I replied, still watching the dude.

"there is no one by your window"

"Is too!" Sheesh! How would he know who's out my window and whose not if he's in another room? "If you don't believe me come look!"

I heard my father head for my room at a steady pace. Once he was there I opened my door and pointed at the window that-"See he's right there! Look at the creepy Russki who…isn't…there anymore…"-was one creepy guy short…MAN!

"hmm…well when you're done with that please come to the living room to meet our next-door neighbor" He growled and headed back.

I sighed heavily and followed him.

_Let's all gather around and worship the giant banana_

I sat across from…Feliks? Well whatever his…_her_?...well what's his/her face, I sat across from them. She likes pink…and he likes to cross dress? Not only that but…Feliks also likes a lot of girl stuff…and some guy named Toris…I hope it's a guy…I hope Feliks is a girl…god this neighborhood is weird.

_RUN! It's Godzilla!_

I found out that Feliks is indeed a guy…next time I'll knock before I walk into my _own_ kitchen…

_No, wait. It's just my pet bobby-o_

Feliks left after he realized he had school work to do. (And He tried one of dad's scones and ran to the door looking green…but dad doesn't need to know that) I sighed and chill 'axed on the couch when the door rang.

"Alfred? Would you please?"

"Yeah yeah. I got dis!" I said standing up and walked over to the door.

"Hello-AHH! You again?" I jumped back after opening the door. The creepy guy was right there! Right in my house! And on other notes, he was still smiling!

He stepped forward. "da, may we come in?" he asked gesturing to three, shivering, boys behind him.

I nodded. Wait. WHAT? WHY?-too late! He walked in, the three boys following. I just showed him to the living room-WHY?

I sat across from him, two of the boys sat next to him, another sat in a different chair.

"so…urm"

He smiled. "my name is being Ivan Braginski. But you can call me Mr. Braginski"

Oh god…"um…can I call you Mr. B?"

"Nyet. Braginski"

"Dude…if my life depended on saying your name correctly I would die. A slow and painful death" I tried to explain.

"That can be arranged"

"what-""is nothing"

_Ok! Call the fucking cops! NOW!_

"This is Raivis" He put his hand on the head of the smallest boy, who had light brown hair and wore a red jacket. "Toris" he put his other arm around the boy with longer darker brown hair that wore a green jacket. _So that was the boy Feliks likes…_"and Eduard" and he gestured to the blond boy with glasses and a blue jacket sitting farthest from him.

I nodded to each. "My name is Alfred F Jones! Your savior! But you can just call me Alfred or Al" I heard that Russian dude chuckle. Why I oughta-!

"Alfred, who are our guests?"

I sighed. I'll get you yet commie. "…Raivis, Toris, Eduard and Mr.…Bra-gin-ski"-"Braginski" Mr. Bra-gin-ski said cutting in.

"And you are being?...Perhaps Mr. Jones's brother?"

"Uh. N-no! I'm his father. My name is Arthur Kirkland. Nice you meet you" Dad stuttered.

Mr. B. narrowed his eyes and looked at dad for a while before the conversation was picked up again.

'_California! Has no money. California! Has lots of weed'_

"well thank you for being so kind. Good luck in school, Mr. Jones" I waved them off and closed the door. Well I almost did, but there was a boot in the way.

"Am hoping you will _enjoy_ history class, Mr. Jones" those were the last words I heard from him before the door closed all the way.

"god! That guy was a FREAK!" I said sighing loudly.

"Alfred, be nice, he's our neighbor"

Here we go again.

"Our freaky neighbor who peeks into windows wanting to eat mayonnaise-up babies while killing puppies and stabbing cancer patients" I huffed

"Alfred…just…go to bed" Dad sighed.

"Fine, but if I am ever left alone in a room with that guy, I swear something bad will happen!"

"Alfred. Bed. Now." He growled pointing to my room

"ok ok. Sheesh." I went to my room and closed the door. I took off my shirt and pants then jumped onto my bed, which I moved into my room this morning. I pulled the covers over my shoulders and sighed.

_Well, Tomorrow I start school. *insert sarcasm here*. God, what was that freak talking about though? History class? Weird. Oh well._

I hugged my white bunny stuffy

"Night, Floppsy"

**AN: Oh Alfred. You'll be seeing Mr. Bra-gin-ski sooner than you think. A lot more characters show up in the next chapter. Including Matthew! That's right he finally gets to be in the story! And yes, Alfred has his bunny to keep him safe. I hope you liked it. Please review or Mr. Bra-gin-ski will come after YEW!**


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